nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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