Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dignity is for republicans.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
