Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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