He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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