remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
