that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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