I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
