Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
