I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
