Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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