p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
no you cant smoke seaweed
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
