I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
