I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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