plz talk dirty to me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
