Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
