So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think I sprained my soul last night
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
