I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
