Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
