i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
