I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
