Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
