shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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