i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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