OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
