Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The air was thick with penises
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize