I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
