i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
