Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize