this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
