You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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