this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
