I could have mohawked her pubes.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
