i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
