My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
