At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
