i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
