Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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