I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
