My nipple is on Facebook.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
