honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
