So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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