After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
