I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
