I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
