Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Be still, my beating vagina.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The Olympian is in my bed
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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