It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Let the clothes fall where they may.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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