I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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