I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize