Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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