Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
