Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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