i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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