What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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