a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
no you cant smoke seaweed
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
