Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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