its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
