my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just want to make out with him forever
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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