Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize