she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
